All aboard the Failboat

[skylarking]

As far as I can tell the month of June 2010 is totally full of fail. Fail fail fail.

Evidence:

I went to the orthodontist and they wanted to take a mould of my teeth which involved me biting down on a poop-a-scoop a full of play doh, the mould of my bottom teeth went fine but the top one hit my gag reflex. There is something very, very undignified about going, "bleeergghgghhhh" in front of a room full of people. Twice.

I went to give blood. I filled a form promising that I'm not an intravenous drug user and have never had malaria, settled onto the bed thing with my book, held out my arm and it was all going well until the nurse said, "Oh". She blew a vein, so instead of giving blood I had someone press down hard on my arm for a while and the developed a massive bruise. I still have it; I think it's going to last for a long time.

I keep losing things, forgetting how to type, spell, add up and use the alphabet, I forgot my colleagues surname on Friday, I put a tub of yoghurt in a cupboard and left my knitting at home on the sofa on Knitting in the Pub night.

And that's not everything. I don’t think I'm safe to be around. **

Thing I have seen that has amused me
T shirt in the window of the shop that says, "Sorry, I stopped listening to you."

Words my mobile doesn't have in its predictive text dictionary:
Plonk.

I've decided to instigate a new tag. It's going to be called Possible New Careers. I thought I'd note down possible new career paths as I think of them to be reviewed and compared at a later day. Feel free to offer suggestions.

My list of new careers so far includes:
Ninja
Beatnik
Beatnik ninja
Shepherd
Gardener - there are plenty of treatments for hay fever, it would be fine
Lollypop lady
One of the people that paint white lines on the road

**and it took me three four attempts to do this entry

Comments

[glorfinniel.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that June's been failtastic so far :( Hope the second half isn't though!

I reckon you'd make an excellent Lollypop Lady. Especially if you also carried a bag with you full of real lollypops to hand out to the kids. Think how popular you'd be! (That is, if it wasn't for modern society and its suspcions of kind people!)

Or how about a ninja lollypop lady? That'd be entertaiing!

[light-the-sky76.livejournal.com]

Ninja lollypop lady! Fantastic! I could leap out at people and wack them with my giant lolly.

[infinidimincorp.livejournal.com]

Rock Star!
Private Investigator.
Deep sea horticulturalist. (Less hayfever risk.)

[light-the-sky76.livejournal.com]

I was going to say that I couldn't be a rock star because I have no real musical talent, but the charts are full of people with no real musical talent so it could defiantly be a viable option.

Deep sea horticulturalist. Great idea. I bet I'd be ace at pruning seaweed.

[silverweave.livejournal.com]

I personally think you would make an excellent pirate.

Or recorder teacher.

Knitting in the Pub night might be the best idea known to man.

[light-the-sky76.livejournal.com]

I shall use my pirate icon.

I did play recorder in junior school, along with everyone else in England, so I could have a go at that

Knitting in the Pub night might be the best idea known to man. It really is rather good.