skylarking

~ I walked past a man wearing a penguin suit and flip flops this morning. I'm guessing he had a good time last night.

~ I finally remembered to go into Feline and ask them about touching up my tattoo and I've booked an appointment for Monday morning. I think being tattooed is a good way to spend my first official day of unemployment. It's weird though, Feline is just near where I currently work; I could pop in to see how things are going...I don't think that's going to happen though. Luckily, Feline is also near Cocoa, the divine chocolate shop so I might have to pop in there afterwards. I'm going to need a bit of comfort, I remember how much my tattoo hurt when I was having it done.

Thing I have learnt
During World War Two Sheffield was heavily bombed. To protect the stained glass windows in the Cathedral from damage they were removed, wrapped up and stored down a mine until the war ended. I like the idea of the windows been stored in a mine, it's very Yorkshire.

Quote of the day
I feel like doing something proper mischievous ~ Man walking past me carry a can of larger

I am bored

My shoes are pinching my toes so I've taken them off and am walking around the office in my socks. My socks have pink and grey stripes and pictures of cows on saying 'Moo'. I think this is appropriate Friday attire.

Thing I have learnt
I've always thought that the phrase 'derring-do' was spelled daring do, as in a do that was daring. Evidently it's not.

I am sore

I've just dealt with a piece of paperwork for someone called Johnny Steel. What an amazing name, it's right up there with another of my work related favourite names - Jack Edge.

They should both become Private Investigators, Jack Edge, Private Eye, has a brilliant ring to it. If he doesn't feel like being a PI Johnny Steel could become an intergalactic superhero. I think Johnny Steel, Space Ranger works too.

I'm trying not to manage my mood by eating cake. It's going okay so far, I haven't been troughing out of the tubs of mini rolls and bite sized brownies that someone has brought into the office. I don't fancy the banana that I have in my bag though so I might not make my 5 a day today. Maybe I'll have more tea.

Cathy from my office hasn't seen Dirty Dancing. I thought all of the women in the western world have seen Dirty Dancing. She didn't recognize She's Like The Wind. Weird.

(Yesterday's game = She's Like The Wind In My Pants *sporfle*)

Thing I have learnt
The word Trolololololol is used on occasions where Lol simply isn't enough to indicate how funny something is, it's like Lol squared.

I am bored

Fun new game - name the song you're listening to and add the words In My Pants to the title, so far I've had:
Bright Lights Big City In My Pants. Big pants required.
Some Might Say In My Pants. Indeed they might
Teenage Dream In My Pants. That's a bit wrong
Bad Romance In My Pants. Ra ra raha ha, My Pants ro ma mah

Thing I have learnt
TV physicist Brian Cox used to be in the pop band D:Ream who are best known for their thumpin' pop anthem Things Will Only Get Better. I wonder how you go from the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party to Secrets of the Universe...

I am blah

~ Do you know what I don't get? Kindles. Why would you spend £100 on something that is essentially a book when you can buy a novel from a charity shop for 50p? Books don't need batteries and you can drop them on the floor and accidently drip tea on them without worrying too much. Also, to quote Giles, computers don't smell.

I'm a grumpy old woman. But that's okay; I think being a grumpy old woman is the new being a bright young thing

~ I have a Yahoo email account that is 14 years old. My email address is old enough to be choosing its GCSE options. Bloody hell!

Thing I have learnt
The collective noun for a group of larks is an exaltation.

Words my mobile phone doesn't have
Grenade.

Quote of the day
Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.
~ John Witherspoon

Stephenie Meyer, I am looking at you. Or, to be precise, I am not looking at New Moon.

I am cold and full of tea cake

I've just stirred my coffee with a biro, is that gross?

My postal voting stuff arrived yesterday. That means I have to decide how I'm going to vote in the election and also for AV. I looked at the voting for the local election and thought, "I don't think I want to vote for any of those buggers."

I received some election bumf from the Lib Dems through the post the other day and their campaign strategy is very interesting. The letter was in a hand written in biro on a plain blue envelope and the letter inside was a copy of a hand written note. "Dear Friend", it started, "I have lived in this area for many years and have been touched by the kind welcome of all the local people, blah blah, working for the community, blah blah…against the cuts, blah blah" it didn't even mention that it was anything to do with a political party until half way down the letter and I had to read it twice to see which party it was from. No logos, no pictures, no mention of Nick Clegg…

Funny. The local Lib Dem candidate is trying very hard to promote himself as friendly neighbourhood councillor who doesn't reeeeeeally have anything to do with the rest of his party.

I'm still not going to vote for you pal.

Thing I have learnt
Today is the Queen's birthday, she's 85. Her real birthday not her Official birthday, which will be on 11 June this year.

The reason the Queen has two birthdays is because on the monarch's birthday they Troop the Colour. The Queen's father's birthday was in December and he decided that the weather in December wasn't good for Colour Trooping (sensible chap) so he arrange an official birthday for when the sun would be shining.

And, I think, because it would mean he could have two birthday cakes.

I am hyper from coffee and smarties

It turns out that no matter where you put a button on a knitted mug cosy or how well the cosy stays on when the mug is empty, as soon as you put hot water in the mug the bloody cosy starts to slip off. I haven't studied this extensively but the data I have collected so far seems to suggest that this is a significant find. Humph. I'm currently considering alterative methods of securing a cosy to a mug, probably inolving tying it somehow. Necessity is the mother of invention and all that, and I like toasty tea.

In other knitting news, everything they say about Log Cabin Knitting is true. Zen zen zen.

Tumblr is hypnotic.

I am bored

~ I watched Eurovision on On Demand because I am sad. I was embarrassed by my country’s entry. Seriously, Pete Waterman should not be allowed back into the UK for writing that pile of pants. I think he must have pulled it off the shelf he keeps all the songs Jason Donovan rejected in the late 80’s on, dusted it off and handed to the poor lad who had to stand up in front of millions of people and perform it. My favourite song was the Armenian song called Apricot Stone. They performed with a giant apricot stone on stage with them; it takes a special kind of crazy to do that. The half time act was good, you can’t go wrong with thousands of people across Europe dancing like idiots at the same time. (I like how all the other countries have a street full of people all doing the dance in perfect time with one another apart from the UK, where a big crowd of people just run toward the camera going, “raaahhhhh!” My country’s crapness amuses me, how we’re ever going to organise an Olympic games is anyone’s guess)

~Thing I have learnt
It is okay to start a sentence with the word and. Bill Bryson said so which means it must be true. And so I’m going to do it from now on.

~Thing I have seen that amused me
The book Doctor Zhivago shelved in the Z section of A-Z fiction in a charity shop.

I am okay

The Doctor Who live show is coming to Sheffield Arena in October Want. Want tickets. Want want want.

In other news, I hate my job.

In other, other news it's a shame that Flash Forward is being cancelled. If it had been given time it could have been really good. This series had a lot of potential but there were too many story lines - they could have got rid of the Aaron and his one legged daughter, the doctor with cancer who didn't kill himself, and the babysitter's stories quite easily (is there anything Aaron can't do? AA sponsor, elite badass ninja ass kicking man, sniper, spy-rific slealth guy...) There are characters I really like though and I want to know what happens to them - Janis and her bump, the lovely Simon. I don't know how they're going to tie everything together in just 3 more episodes.

Blackberry's kill relationships. Or so I've heard. Someone at work told me that apparently the Ping thing they do (ping, pim, pin, pon?) cause people to fight, even more than Facebook, about who is messaging who and who gave who who's number and why do they ping (pin, pong, prwang) so much... I didn't know that Facebook caused fight so I am totally out of the loop.

I am grumpy

May the fourth be with you. That never gets old as far as I am concerned.

You know you are reading a Harry Potter book when you look at where your bookmark is, notice that the amount of pages you have read add up to the length of an average book, then realise you aren't even half way through the story.

Words that aren't on my mobile phone's predictive text
Titan and damn. It has f*ck but not damn. Odd...

Thing I have learnt
The Terry and Julie in The Kink's song Waterloo Sunset (Terry meets Julie, Waterloo Station, every Friday night) are Terrance Stamp and Julie Christie.

( Flashforward, cut for spoilers )

I am pffffft

You don't need the Vote For My Party! posters in people's windows to know that there's a general election going on; really obvious way to tell that the country is about to go to the polls: the council have been cutting the grass. They've also fixed some pavements where my mum lives and cleaned up the horrible, mushy pile of leaves that gathers in autumn then sits festering on a footpath near my flat. I probably should watch the televised debates between the party leaders but I can't stand to watch politicians speak, it makes me want to throw things, there's too much bullsh*t for me to deal with.

I'm finding it very hard to find the motivation to do anything at the moment that having a cup of tea and curling up on the sofa. It's making work an issue. And I have a presentation to do and an essay that I'm in total denial about. Meh.

On a more awesome note, Daleks in Sheffield Train Station. Commute! Commute!

Thing I have learnt
Quinquennial means something that last for five years or something that happens every five years. The reason I have learnt this is because the word was included in a consultation document that has just been sent round at work.
Why do management type people insist on using words that no one uses or even knows? During a restructure in my old job a consultation email was sent round that included the word coterminosity which doesn't even exist.

I am blah

I have Young Guns by Wham! stuck in my head. I have no idea why. I had Copacabana in my head on Monday. The inside of my skull is an odd place.

This week has been full of meh. I've been crazy hormone lady, so much so that on Monday I considered calling up my line manager and explaining that it would probably be better if I didn't come into work because I was unhinged and I should not be around other people.

I still feel a bit like that to be honest. Good times.

( Flash Forward thoughts, cut for spoilers and for those who don't care )

Thing I have learnt
Jimi Hendrix toured briefly with The Monkees as their support act. Whether or not he monkeyed around when he was with them is unknown. If I had do hazard a guess I'd say that he did. He seemed like a fun loving kind of chap.

I am tired

Had a weird night's sleep last night. I woke up at 3am then couldn't back to sleep for ages and when I did eventually go back to sleep I dreamt about not being able to sleep. I was a bit confused when I woke up.

The ladies loos in my new building have been decorated in pink - pink cubicle walls, pink cubicle doors and pink tiles. I really want to know if the gents have been decorated in blue but I can't think of a way to introduce that question into a conversation without it sounding strange.

My gas bill arrived yesterday. Amazingly it was perfectly reasonable, it didn't make me hyperventilate or pass out. The electricity bill should come in a few days I have a feeling it might be a different story, I'm pretty sure that one will prompt unconsciousness. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Thing I have learnt
~ Gregor Fisher, aka Rab C Nesbitt, has a house in Spolding

~ Salamanders breathe through their skin.

I'm not sure which on of these facts I find the most surprising.

This entry reads like a stand up routine by Steve Wright. Odd.

I am tired

My eyelid is still twitching. It's still annoying.

My course started again last night. The module I'm doing is Freedom, Rebellion and Change and is about literature, music and culture from the 60s. We're going to be reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath so I'm looking forward to getting my feminist rage on .

Things I have learnt
The word lurgie was invented by the Goons.

Unripe bananas can cause constipation.

I am tired

The Christmas tree has arrived in reception at work and everyone is very excited, people keep walking past shouting, "Christmas tree!"
We get to decorate it tomorrow, I love Christmas decorations, they're sparkly :)

Thing I have learnt
Babies find hair dryers soothing. I called my sister last night and she had just put the baby to bed but he wouldn't settle and would lie quietly for a while then cry so she would go upstairs and put the hairdryer on until he went back to sleep. Apparently the sound hair dryers make is similar to the noises babies hear in the womb; washing machines work too so I'm told. The whole thing was pretty funny from my end of the phone.

Beth: The baby is crying again *goes upstairs*. Why are you awake again little man?
Toby: :)
Beth: Stop being cute. You're supposed to be asleep you're not supposed to be grinning at me.
Toby: *Coo*
Beth: It is sleepy time, not awake time, sleeeeepy tiiiiiiime
Toby: *Gurgle*
Beth: Sleeeeeeeeeeeepy tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime *turns the hair dryer on*
Toby: *Screw you hippy, I'm not falling for that*

I am ditzy

I think I'd like to be Joanna Lumley.

Her new series stated about cats started on Sunday, in the first episode she travelled to Eastern Europe, Egypt and Malaysia and petted lots of cute kitty cats. She gets all the best jobs, I saw a documentary last year where she went to see the Northern Lights and in another a few years ago she visited a giraffe sanctuary in Africa. I'd like someone to pay me to go to interesting places and meet interesting people. And pet cute kitty cats.

I dreamt about Jamie Oliver last night, it was odd…but it was better than the night before when I dreamt I was at work, there was a huge queue of impatient people and I had a really bad cough.

Thing I have learnt
If you are making a chicken casserole in a slow cooker don't put pearl barley in. Pearl barley goes all mushy and unpleasant in a slow cooker. Yuck.

I am working

~ It's amazing the difference two weeks holiday can make, I didn't feel the need to say, "Oh for God's sake!" at all at work today. We'll see how tomorrow goes...

~ I had boiled vegetables with my tea and have saved the water to use as a stock in something else. I have officially become my mother.

~ Due to a sudden, strange urge I'm moving my kitchen cupboards around some and have at the back of one cupboard I have just found a box of anti-depressants, a jar of coffee with the expiry date of August 06 (I don't drink coffee) an unopened packet of plain flour with an expiry date of June 08 and a small box of Thorntons' chocolates.

Thornton's chocolates!! :)
ETA My God I have a lot of tuppaware dishes, why do I have so many tuppaware dishes?

Thing I have learnt
Toothpaste for bee stings and vinegar for wasp stings

Thing I have seen that amused me
Skinny blond lad with a T shirt on that said "I heart bad girls" (with a heart rather than the word heart of course, I can never remember the html thingy to make a heart symbol). He didn't look like he was old enough to shave, I don't know what he would do if he actually met a bad girl.

VH1 were showing 'Michael Jackson through the years' this morning which was basically a collection of all his videos. It's strange to watch the really old ones with the more recent ones, you see him turn from a cute black boy into a thin, emasculated, white person.

I do have to admit that after a while all the '"he hee"s, "owww!"s and "shhhamon"s start getting a bit silly. And the crotch grabbing…seriously…leave it alone, Michael you'll go blind.

Torchwood was awesome last night, I was geektastically happy. I thought the kids were genuinely creepy, and Ianto's sister made me lol. I'm looking forward to tonight's episode, then at the weekend I can watch it 5 episodes in one go on TV on Demand, geektastically happy I tell you! : )

Thing I have learnt
My blood group is O negative.

I am hungry

Episode 6 of Dollhouse was on the other night night. Things actually happened, there was plot development, ~~Tahmoh Penikett took his shirt off~~, there was approval in my house.

Today's excitement: There's a little, grassy, quadrangle-esque area at work where people sit to have lunch when it's sunny. We got an email this morning saying that a dog had settled itself on the grass next to one of the benches to sunbathe, and if anyone asks security had been called to move the dog on (presumably by waving their arms and shouting shoo!) Everyone was suddenly came over all 'aww, doggie!!'. It reminded me of when I was little and a dog came into the playground at school. It used to be the most EXCITING THING!! A DOG IN THE PLAYGROUND!!1!!11

Also, I took a call from a man in Denmark called Ludwig.

Things I have learnt
The Queen has an allotment. I like the idea of Liz pottering around in her green wellies weeding her potatoes and sitting on an upturned bucket to drink tea out of a tartan flask. (In my head people sit on upturned buckets and drink tea out of tartan flasks when they work on their allotments, it this isn't true I don't want to know)

A malapropism is the use of a word in mistake for one sounding similar. Like using dissemble rather than assemble.

My weekend in bullet point:
~ Lady on West Street on Friday night wearing a shiny, metallic jade dress with metallic, shiny jade lipstick to match then huge green and pink, violently neon t shirts in Bay Trading. I don't understand fashion.

~ It was Armed Forces and Veterans Day. The fountain had been switched off in the Peace Garden and there was a man playing an electric organ for the Veterans and their partners to do sequence dancing. Waltzing old people are cute. There was also an army recruitment event with a climbing wall and a stall with a big banner that read, "Yorkshire Regiment, Yorkshire Warriors". I like that idea of a Yorkshire warrior, "Eyyy, I love a good battle.", "Where's my chuffin' sword?", "They may take out lives but, I swear down, right, they'll proper never take out freedom"

~ A girl (I should probably call her a young woman but she looked about 12) from Molly's café gave me a free little cake.

~ I learnt that water proof coats need to be washing in soap suds and not stuffed into the washing machine with a scoop of Daz because normal detergent damages the jackets waterproof treatment. This may explain why my current waterproof jacket isn't that waterproof anymore. (To be fair, I bought it for £6 from a charity shop 2 years ago so I can't really grumble)

~ Patricia Routledge is my spinster icon. (I really should form that Facebook reclaiming spinsterhood group; and possibly also a Mrs Overall appreciation society while I'm there.)

~ If you watch it in the right frame of mind, The A Team is full of man love subtext.

~ I would like to be Julie Walters when I grow up.

~

aethelthryth and I are like or are turning into 50% of Victoria Wood's characters.

~ For all these years I haven't been knitting two together, I have been Kniting two together through the back loop. Heeee :P

Today in bullet point
~ Stupid people suck.

I am geeky

Livejournal lives, for now...

Fox in box in socks

To infinity and beyond

Childish, me?

All aboard the Skylark

I just did an impression of The Count from Sesame Street :)

Things I have learnt

Nil points

Aaron, the man who can

Happy Star Wars day

Electorate! Electorate!

Young guns having some fun, crazy ladies got you on the run...

Hmm

twitch twitch

Take this moment and make it evergreen

Pukka!

Move stuff and ye shall find

We are coming, we are coming

6.5 on the general disatisfaction index

I ain't getting on no plane!

Wise Words

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