Skylarking

How come I can't remember what I've done with the thing I had in my hand 3 seconds ago but I can remember the words to a dodgy one hit wonder from the 90s? (OMC - How Bizarre. How bizarre, how bizarre...)

The inside of my head baffles me sometimes.

Another example of baffling head stuff: I had a fandom heavy dream on Saturday night, Gonzo from The Muppets was there, as was Giles from Buffy and Sam and Dean from Supernatural (Sam told me to not bother watching the most recent season of Supernatural, he said that the story isn't going anywhere). I can't remember exactly what was happening but there was lots of running around going on. There seems to be a lot of running around in my dreams recently.

I had a busy day on Saturday. I tried anchovies (salty but good) ate cake (always a good time) learnt blanket stitch (thank you beebarf) and worked out that it takes about nine episodes of Buffy to make a hippo.

The hippo, who I have given the lordly name of Vincent Van FrankenHippo, came from a kit that I bought in John Lewis before Christmas. He is a thing of beauty. I haven't taken a picture yet but I will do at some point.

Words my mobile doesn't have: Pithy

As far as I can tell the month of June 2010 is totally full of fail. Fail fail fail.

Evidence:

I went to the orthodontist and they wanted to take a mould of my teeth which involved me biting down on a poop-a-scoop a full of play doh, the mould of my bottom teeth went fine but the top one hit my gag reflex. There is something very, very undignified about going, "bleeergghgghhhh" in front of a room full of people. Twice.

I went to give blood. I filled a form promising that I'm not an intravenous drug user and have never had malaria, settled onto the bed thing with my book, held out my arm and it was all going well until the nurse said, "Oh". She blew a vein, so instead of giving blood I had someone press down hard on my arm for a while and the developed a massive bruise. I still have it; I think it's going to last for a long time.

I keep losing things, forgetting how to type, spell, add up and use the alphabet, I forgot my colleagues surname on Friday, I put a tub of yoghurt in a cupboard and left my knitting at home on the sofa on Knitting in the Pub night.

And that's not everything. I don’t think I'm safe to be around. **

Thing I have seen that has amused me
T shirt in the window of the shop that says, "Sorry, I stopped listening to you."

Words my mobile doesn't have in its predictive text dictionary:
Plonk.

I've decided to instigate a new tag. It's going to be called Possible New Careers. I thought I'd note down possible new career paths as I think of them to be reviewed and compared at a later day. Feel free to offer suggestions.

My list of new careers so far includes:
Ninja
Beatnik
Beatnik ninja
Shepherd
Gardener - there are plenty of treatments for hay fever, it would be fine
Lollypop lady
One of the people that paint white lines on the road

**and it took me three four attempts to do this entry

I have been compiling a list of the words that the predictive text on my mobile doesn't have. On the list so far are: ambiance, ninja, and antlers.

I think there might be some more words but I can't remember what they are. So far the list has been in my head which is never a reliable place to keep things.


I've always said that I would like a job naming paints. I think the names you see in the Homebase catalogue and such are hilarious: dusky rose sunset, hint of terracotta, freedom green etc. I would like to add that I'd also like the job of naming staplers.

I was looking at heavy duty staplers today, such is my lot, and it turns out that a many staplers are named. Being heavy duty staplers, the kind of staplers that a manly man would use if he was stapling a girder to a chunk of rock, they have butch manly names. Like Odysseys! Mercury! Gladiator! And my personal favourite, Goliath!

Of course in the interest of equal opportunities, girlie staplers have names too, like Bambi.

I think I'd go with animal names for my staplers, like Cricket for those little, little ones you can get and Rhino or Orca for the bigger ones. If I was naming staplers after animals I think it would be nice to have them coloured with animal print. How cool would a snake skin stapler be?

I think it's time I got off this train of thought...