It's amazing the things they can't do with modern medicine

[skylarking]

I went to see Dr Free. The blood test I had was clear, which freaked me out to be honest. I felt so shite earlier this month I thought there had to be something physically out of balance. There had to be.

Because it couldn't just be psychological. My brain wouldn't do that to me.

But apparently it is doing that to me, the tricksy bastard. Which only leaves the option that I am clinically depressed.

So

"Dr Free," I said, "I am depressed and have been for a while. I've tried really hard to shake myself out of it; I really wanted to be able to but I can't. I'm not functioning properly and I need to do something about it, what are my options?"

"Anti-depressants." Said Dr Free. "Seratonin levels etc."

"I'm a bit wary of anti-depressants, Dr Free." I explained. "There's enough weirdness in my head without adding chemicals to the mix. The thought of taking them makes me nervous."

"Well that's about all I can offer you." Dr Free replied

I went *hummm*

So Dr Free (who I liked, btw, she was just the kind of doctor I like to see – no nonsense but still sympathetic) made some notes in my file and said I should come back when I've had a think about, and that I might want to try some St Johns Wort or something.

So I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. I think I might take a couple of weeks off work and sleep and try and to regain a bit of equilibrium. My mum said that if I wanted I could go and stay with her for a week, which would be nice but I don't want to be all needy and in the way.


It would have been so much easier to know what to do if I just didn't have as much iron in my blood as I'm supposed to. Stupid blood.



It's quite strange to be officially unhinged.

I like that.

Officially unhinged.

I might have a T-shirt made.



ETA
Maybe I should just go for the anti-depressants. Maybe I should.

It has to be better than feeling like this. Doesn't it?

Comments

[indigo-blind.livejournal.com]

If you want to visit me you can i'll try and see what time off i can get?
Just a thought.

[glorfinniel.livejournal.com]

Do whatever is best for you (and that was the most obvious and stupid thing I have ever said. And the most useless thing as well, methinks)

So. Um, yeah. I'm not being very helpful so I am just going to offer hugs and chocolate instead:

*hugs and chocolate!*

[canciona.livejournal.com]

Antidepressants can be a good thing. The one I like best (which has very few side effects) is unfortunately not available over there for some reason, or wasn't when last I heard. Wellbutrin (actual drug name is bupropion) is a really helpful thing if you're clinically depressed, but not to the extent where you're suicidal or causing self-harm, etc.

I would look into your options, do some research if you decide to go the drug route. SSRIs can be very helpful, but they can also have some annoying side effects (but not for everyone, certainly; I have a friend for whom Paxil has done absolute wonders with no side effects whatsoever, whereas Paxil was incredibly unpleasant for me; everyone really does react differently to each drug). Newer classes of drugs tend to have fewer side effects, but haven't been tested for the last 20-odd years, so there's always that concern. I'd just advise seeing what's available and really looking at the side effects and potential pros and cons, and if possible, talking to people who are on the drugs you're looking at. But I'm very big on researching and going into a situation with as much knowledge as I can.

If you opt not to go the actual drug route, there is St John's Wort. I'm not sure if it's different there, but the main problem here is that you can't get a prescription for that, and it can get expensive.

Other practical treatments for depression are things like:
1) Exercise regularly - yeah, they always say that, but it helps with stress and anxiety disorders like you wouldn't believe.
2) Spend more time outside. Seriously. Body chemistry and brain chemistry react differently to real weather as opposed to what you get in a house or office with controlled temperature and air settings, especially if there's any sun outside. Even opening a window when you can't physically get outside can be helpful.
3) Drink enough water (64 oz per day). Yeah, I know, it sounds weird, but try it, if you're not already. If you're adding in exercise, or spending more time outside in the summer, it's a really good idea, anyway. It'll also increase energy levels.
4) Try to stay away from processed sugars as much as possible. I've been amazed over the last couple of years, just observing how my emotions react to sugar or lack thereof - especially when my body is expecting to have it.
5) You're going to think I've lost my mind here, but...smile more, even when you're unhappy. Like you're trying to convince someone you're in a good mood. There's evidence (and I've noticed that it's true for me as well) that the brain reacts to signals from the body, like smiling or frowning, and mood adjusts accordingly. Apparently this is an old traditional remedy that's been around for centuries, but when I read about it, I thought back on when I used to force myself to smile even when I was depressed (back when I was in the service industry), and how much it really did work. Wild, but true.

And while these are things that you'd think would only affect your current mood (as opposed to your overall mood swing, such as long-term depression), you can actually influence your longer-term moods by making these things habitual.

I know this all sounds slightly off-the-wall, but remember, you're talking to a bipolar depressive who refuses to take stronger classes of antidepressants, so I've really been forced to research "natural" remedies, and find ones that work. These are just what I've found.

But you know...I'm also pretty proud of the Officially Unhinged label, too. ;D

Good luck, honey, whatever you choose, and if you ever feel like talking about it, I'm always around. :)